| 2 min read | by Doug Marrin |

Coffee is a gift from above in so many ways.

It gets you through your kid’s tournament, sharpens you up for your presentation, jump starts you the morning after watching that west coast U of M basketball playoff game, and generally braces you to take on the day. Not only is that cup ‘o joe an intellectual and emotional spurt, research published in JAMA shows it can extend your life by reducing your risk of dying from cancer, heart disease, and diabetes.

With coffee all things are possible it seems. Like David Lettermen, I would have no personality if it weren’t for coffee. I’m thinking of people right now who should drink coffee, lots of coffee.

And now, java may be able to extend your life by revealing which of your family and friends might be a psychopath. May its wonders never cease.

A study from the University of Innsbruck in Austria has shown that black coffee has been proven to be more popular with the Dexter Morgans, Norman Bates, and Hannibal Lectors of this world. Thppth, thppth, thppth, thppth.

In the study, 953 Americans with an average age of 35 (52% men, 48% women) self-reported their taste preferences and answered a number of personality questions assessing Machiavellianism, psychopathy, narcissism, sadism, aggression as well as Goldberg’s “Big Five” personality factors of extroversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, conscientiousness and openness.

The results confirmed the notion that bitter tastes are not only preferred, but enjoyed by those with malevolent personality traits, with the strongest relations to sadism and psychopathy. The study also found a direct correlation between the level of enjoying bitter tastes with the level of enjoying inflicting pain on others.

The bitter foods in the survey included black coffee (obviously), dark chocolate, radishes, beer, tonic water, and celery. Sweet and savory flavors were also used. Out of all the other surveyed flavors, a preference for bitterness was the biggest indicator of psychopathic personality traits.

Thank the gods I’m eating Keto and take lots of cream. You’re safe honey.

You may be wondering, “What flavor does a sweetheart of a person prefer?” Those who scored high on “agreeableness” reported a preference for sweet foods like candy and cake – and a complete dislike for the bitter foods loved by psychopaths.

So as far as your circle of family and friends who have a sweet tooth, chances are their personality matches their flavor preference. You’re safe.

Beware of the person who says they like their coffee “black, like my soul.”

But as far as that person who relishes black coffee, bitter beer and the like, you might want to take that snowcat down to town before they’re breaking into your bathroom with an axe.

You’d do us a huge favor by sharing.